...And Back Again

I wish I could say it’s been video games (as I'm sure some people assume) that have really been the reason I’ve taken so many long breaks from the mats, I feel in some way that would be more dignified than the truth. But the reality is it’s been alcohol. So many days I’d get home from work and instead of finding something productive to do for the couple hours before class would start, I’d immediately be pouring myself a drink, always telling myself that tomorrow I would go to class instead. I don’t think I would call myself an alcoholic, but I was definitely well on my way. Fortunately, courtesy of Uncle Sam, I got a nice long break from drinking and it gave me a lot of time to think about the direction I saw my life going, which wasn’t at all where I wanted. It sucks to look back at the past few years and see so much time lost, not just on the mats, but in all aspects of my life. But I can’t change that; I can only move forward from where I am right now. And with that move forward comes a renewed passion for BJJ.

I’m 36 years old, still a white belt nearly six years since I enjoyed my first training sessions, and even when I’m not rusty from having a few months off (like now), I’m definitely not a super skilled grappler. I have no illusions of one day being a world champion or BJJ guru living on a mountain (though living on a mountain does sound nice). I also am not looking for BJJ to be my new form of therapy; I know there’s many people that have successfully quit a variety of addictions and made incredible life changes and they give credit for those successes to their jiu jitsu training – I will not be one of those people. I’m just a guy working to get his shit together to move forward in life and wanting BJJ to be part of that journey.

So with that in mind, I’m setting actual goals for myself and as far as BJJ goes, that goal will be to make at least three training sessions a week. No worries about ever getting blue belt or even my next stripe; I just want to be there.  I’m sure as life happens that goal will have to change at some point in the future, but for now I feel that’s a good goal to have. With those three (or more) classes a week, I will also be updating this blog regularly, as in every Sunday. I feel that will help keep me accountable, at least to some degree. And for the record, yes I did make it to three classes last week.