To Tourney or Not To Tourney, That Is The Question

Classes Attended: 4 Regular, 1 Private

Actually it isn’t – I already signed up for the tournament coming up in about four weeks. I did this despite the little loud voice in my head screaming it’s not a good idea, and for some seemingly good reasons at that. I’m still feeling a bit rusty after my time off due to deployment. I’m way too heavy at the moment to cut down to my ideal weight (registered as super heavy when I think heavy is closer to my natural healthy weight). My cardio is in need of some serious work. And most importantly, my work schedule prevents me from making it to the actual tournament training classes. Nonetheless, I’m going to give it what I’ve got and try to make the most of the regular classes I show up to between now and then. I will also be trying to get in some good cardio on my own time using a treadmill; probably not the optimum way to build cardio for a tournament but it’s what I got and will have to do.

My biggest actual fear for this tournament stems from my last (and only other) tournament. One day I’d like to upload the video of it and talk about my less-than-optimal performance, but for now let’s just say that physically or mentally prepared for it. Especially mentally. Looking back I know I beat myself before I even walked through the doors and I’m pretty sure I knew it even then. While I had a game plan prior to the tournament, I was spending most of my time before (and at) the tournament thinking about how I couldn’t wait for it to be over and able to go home and have a few drinks. Instead of doing any sort of proper warm up, I was focusing on time passing cause that’s the only way I could imagine my nervousness finally going away. I had decided I was alright just doing whatever it took to get through this thing as quickly as possible. The consequence of all this was not only that I lost, but that I left feeling I did far worse than I could have.  

So if I can take anything away from the last tournament to use in this tournament, it’s that I don’t want to leave the mats feeling like I could’ve done better. I want to win. And if that doesn’t happen, I want my opponent to feel like he just survived the match of his life. Most importantly, whatever happens, I want to come out of there feeling like I gave it my all. I want to be able to look at any tournament video I might be able to get and see me as someone trying to win, not someone just trying not to lose.